Inspiration · Uncategorized

When Busyness Seems to Spin Out of Control, It’s All Just A Distraction!!!!

Happy New Year!!! I know it’s been a long time since I have been able to chat but things have literally been spinning out of control and my focus has been on everything except for writing. There just seems to be so much going on at one time that for awhile I didn’t even seem like myself. It was almost as if I was beginning to morph into this other individual that I did not recognize, I did not know, and quite frankly nor did I care for her very much.
I was finally beginning to see the result of my overactive lifestyle and the product of my busyness. Now don’t get me wrong during the last 6 months I have learned a lot about myself and all about how creative of an artist I really am and have grown a great deal in that area. I took some time to explore my other creative talents such as beading, crocheting and learned how to make jewelry. I even opened up my Etsy store RBD Designs this morning, but I haven’t been doing is writing. I have not written one word in well over a month. I work and I craft and then I go back to work. I try to sleep a little in between once in awhile but I’m still not very successful at that. Oh and then, of course, there is family and other personal obligations, plan making, self-discovering, the I’m getting too damn close to 40 to be single woes, and the list goes on and on. Then recently I looked in the mirror and saw a very tired, worn, reflection staring back at me.
That’s when I realized that this new image that I was seeing of myself was not me, but a shell of me of who I used to be. I know longer go out, shop for shoes, get dressed up just because, get my nails done and very rarely wear my full face of Friday night make up on Tuesday afternoon just feel perky. My busyness had finally taken control of me I was always drained and unhappy to where I didn’t even have a desire to write. Somewhere in the midst of my busyness and normal life hiccups I have given up. I had given up on my likes, my wants, and my desires. I had given up on me! And for a brief moment giving up almost looked like growing up, but it isn’t. It’s a deterrent, it’s a distraction. When the busyness and other life factors seem to completely take over and run your life, it’s often a sign that we are running from life. Things will come up, life will change, schedules will change and we will change. However, we can’t lose ourselves in the process or run from it. We will grow and we will learn, but is an essence of ourselves that is so deeply part of our making trying to change that part will only make us unrecognizable. Now please don’t get me wrong I enjoy the new skill set that I have developed and you will be seeing a lot more of my new creative ideas very soon but it is not a trade in for the other parts of me. I’m not ready to trade in my sexy for a skein of yarn just yet or my writing for beads. These things are part of my essence, my core and I am here to embrace them fully. I can no longer run into the busyness.


Bringing sexy back

Last week I made a post and I mentioned getting my swag back. For some reason I didn’t take into consideration that I was self-publishing and actually had to go out and promote. I had gotten so comfortable in my tights and sweats now that tax season is over, it took me off guard when it was time to reach into my bag of tricks and bring it together for press, promotional pictures, open mic events, and interviews. I actually had that moment of “I don’t feel like it”. It had been awhile since I had gotten dressed to go anywhere other than work or rehearsal, and with working and trying to finish the book it was just way too much to do more than shower and jump into some clothes to go about my day. However, once I started spending more than 10 minutes in the mirror I remembered how nice it was to actually take the time to slip into something pretty and sexy. Taking that few extra minutes in the mirror does a lot to add a little boost to my confidence as a woman. Now don’t get me wrong I wasn’t necessarily feeling a lack of confidence, to be honest I had been working so much over the last year or so feeling feminine and sexy just was no longer a priority. There was so much on my plate that I ignored myself as a sacrifice to get things done. I was surviving on 2-hrs of sleep a day and as much as I needed make up to hide the bags under my eyes I just didn’t have time, not to mention trying to maintain my natural hair I wore a turban or a bun any chance I could just to make sure I would be out the door as fast as possible. (Isn’t amazing what part of ourselves we give up to make ends meet.)

Thankfully those time are not behind me and while I am still in the midst of an extremely busy schedule I am also forced to look at myself twice in the mirror, especially now that I have to be conscious of my brand and I want to be seen. Now I know it’s nothing wrong with being lacks at times but now when it doesn’t feel natural and most times I was too tired and worn out to feel feminine or sexy. But today is new day and I know that it is never too late to create change and why not start in the spring where everything is fresh new and beautiful. So I will be keeping in touch with a few new purchases, hair, nails and even an occasional OOTD or OOTF. I can’t wait to see how my own progress will move into the summer months.

See you Soon,

Lou Hargrove


Oops! I Forgot to Introduce Myself and Red Butterfly Chronicles…

Recently I was looking over a few of my early blog posts and though I have given you some personal information about me I realized that I forgot to formally introduce myself. Well for starters my name is Lou Hargrove. I am single, no children, a poet, writer, blogger (, founder/Chief Creative Officer of Red Butterfly Publishing, co-owner of Culture Collective, health and sex consultant, tax professional, lover of the arts, naturalista, and beauty and fashion enthusiast. OK I guess that should scratch the surface. And this is my second blog.
My original blog Red Buttafly Diva is currently under a major reconstruction and I’m really excited about the changes that are being made. I decided to start Red Butterfly Chronicles because I wanted a personal blog, I wanted a place that was not so organized that I was able to do random post and vent whenever I needed. Though I will be doing different types of posts here I just want to warn you that I will include some randomness. And since I am one of the people that need that extra push each week I really enjoy sharing my epiphanies in the Monday motivation posts and have moved them here also. I do welcome everyone that reads this blog and Red Buttafly Diva if you follow both. I can also be found on Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr @redbuttaflydiva and my Facebook Like page is coming soon.

Lou Hargrove


Dare to Win: Monday Motivation

In the beginning of the week I am always on Instagram and tumblr looking for inspirations quotes and pictures to get my week started. Even though my work week starts on Saturday their is still a newness to the week that Mondays still bring to me. Maybe it’s because Monday is actually my humpday and the inspiration gets me through the rest of the week, whatever it is on Mondays I always look for a boost. 
So I came across this picture late lastnight and it just seemed to give me an extra boost plus some, because there is such a raw truthfulness in its content it’s amazing. Lately I have been pondering my writing career and for the most part the lack there of, and have been spend a few sleepless nights trying to figure out what my next step was. So of course the artist part of me decided to turn inward to see what have been my problems in the past. One of my major faults were I had spend a lot of time trying to fit in and be accepted by those that I admired professionally and just was afraid to go to far and allow myself to be judged for being to sexy or too racey or just too much. With that I am going to dare to step out of my comfort zone and write about thing both professionally and artisticly that I have been afraid to write about in the past. I am going to dare to be bold and answer some of the questions that people would like to know, or write a sensual lullaby that will poetically caress the readers eyes. And I will do it will love and passion, because at the end of the day those are the things that make work not feel like work anymore.  
What are the things that you are daring to do? Ladies what are some health and sex questions that you would like answered? Please leave a comment or email me at

Lou Hargrove