Monday Motivation: Moment of Clarity!

Have you ever had that moment of clarity when you wake up and look in the mirror and realized that you have changed? Not bad change but you realize that you are not the same individual that you were a few months ago or even a few weeks. Your not even quite sure when the exact moment came and it may have happened over time. But to your surprise you actually like it. That feeling is amazing! Recently I have noticed this for myself.
Now for the last 15yrs I have been a huge weave queen and though I loved the convenience of it because of my hectic schedule I had gotten to the point where wasn’t comfortable with anyone seeing me differently. Then I realized I had started feeling the same way when it came to how I dressed and my nails (which I always kept very long and colorful). It had gotten to the point when people always expected me to look a certain way and looked forward to see what I was doing with myself. Now that don’t get me wrong it felt great. For a few years I loved it because I never expected to be that women who people loved my style. Then I got tired of the same ole thing I needed a change but I still kept my hair and nails a certain way and never dressed in sweats because I didn’t want to appear frumpy or appear to not be keeping myself up. But then it got hot outside this summer and all that extra hair was no longer working my me, so I decided to cut my hair and wear it natural. For a while it was one of the hardest things that I had ever done. In the beginning I was really self conscious and hated it but for some reason I couldn’t allow myself to to go back to my old habits. Once got comfortable with it I started receiving compliments all the time about my new hair cut. Though I noticed that I didn’t get approached as much by men as a natural girl I can definitely live with that. Because I am proud of myself for making that change. I am constantly looking in the mirror surprised at myself for no longer being worried about when other people thought I should look like and love what God gave me. I love my natural look and so does my wallet.
In the process I have realized I don’t owe anyone a particular look. I even took my nails off a few weeks ago and though I will probably put them back on I’m not in a rush I still like the way my hands look. In the past I have told people that my individual style is part of me being a artist and expressing my creativity, so not feeling like I am not expected to keep certain looks is such huge relief for me. Though now I realize that it wasn’t really others expectations of how I looked it was my own insecurities. It was me using my hair, nails, and clothes and crutches make make me feel better about myself. I realized that people will comment on what ever I do, some will like it and some will not, however I don’t owe anyone anything when it comes to how I look or express myself as a woman. In the end it all boils down to loving who I wake up and see in the mirror each day.

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DO I DARE TO GO THAT KIND OF BARE???

Ok, I am hiting a milestone birthday tomorrow and I am really feeling the need to work on my sexy. I am usually one of those women that is aways looking to an opportunity to tap into my inner sexy, but lately I have been feeling like I have been tapping an empty jar. Between work, obligations, and the freaking out about getting older I mentioned in my other posts (among other things I’ll discuss another day) I have been feeling anything but sexy lately. I feel like I must do something bold and exciting to bring me back to my sensual center.  Sooo I was thinking about getting a brazilian wax for my b’day, my own personal sexy secret gift to myself. I’venever did it before and it is something that I’ve always had on my bucket list. Now I am true believer in proper grooming from head to toe and all those lil’ fuzzy things inbetween, but I always thought of that as a different type of bare. I must admit that I have always thought about waxing as a silky smoothness that couldn’t be accommplished with a razor or even Nair. I did a little research some indirect questioning to see how other women felt about it and most thought I had lost my mind for even bringing it let along considering it and don’tfor get the other portion of women that don’t want to discuss that region of the body (which is a whole other discussion).  Even as I consider myself more of an open minded individual I really am not comfortable lying on a table with my leg in the air and its not a medical professional. Though if I do decide to I will be going to a luxury spa to get it done, because this may just be one of once in a life time events. Hey if all goes well I well I just let my little sexy secret out and do a full review of my experience. No pictures of course.

Happy Humpday,

Lou Hargrove

My New Natural Hair Journey and visit to the Philadelphia Natural Hair Show

A little over a month ago I decided to go full on everyday natural. Now for the last few months I have been wearing my hair out at least once a week on my days off, but for the rest of the week I was still very much wearing wigs, turban hair wraps and/or protective styles. I needed a little help making the transition slowly, I stopped relaxing my hair 2 years ago and big chopped in October I still wasn’t ready. The idea of wearing on a regular basis made me feel naked and vulnerable, the process of showing my kinks to to the world was actually traumatizing. I know it’s sad but I had been either relaxed or weaved up for the last 25yrs. However, I pushed through and now I’m starting to become very comfortable wearing my twa. Still I have to admit it’s different experience, while I have gotten some great feedback I have also gotten a lot of raised eyebrows like I had lost my mind. Which made me realize I have to come up with styles that I’m comfortable with to keep this thing going. So in the search of other options I recently went to the natural hair show in Philly, and upon arrival it was such a beautiful thing to see do many different types if women rocking their natural hair with so much love and confidence. It just simply amazed me, though I didn’t get a whole lot of different style ideas I did get a lot of information about how to properly use the products that I already have. In the end I am aware that this is truly a journey, I will have my good days and my bad sooooo let’s see what the summer has in store.

Until Next Time,

Lou Hargove