Monday Motivation: Moment of Clarity!

Have you ever had that moment of clarity when you wake up and look in the mirror and realized that you have changed? Not bad change but you realize that you are not the same individual that you were a few months ago or even a few weeks. Your not even quite sure when the exact moment came and it may have happened over time. But to your surprise you actually like it. That feeling is amazing! Recently I have noticed this for myself.
Now for the last 15yrs I have been a huge weave queen and though I loved the convenience of it because of my hectic schedule I had gotten to the point where wasn’t comfortable with anyone seeing me differently. Then I realized I had started feeling the same way when it came to how I dressed and my nails (which I always kept very long and colorful). It had gotten to the point when people always expected me to look a certain way and looked forward to see what I was doing with myself. Now that don’t get me wrong it felt great. For a few years I loved it because I never expected to be that women who people loved my style. Then I got tired of the same ole thing I needed a change but I still kept my hair and nails a certain way and never dressed in sweats because I didn’t want to appear frumpy or appear to not be keeping myself up. But then it got hot outside this summer and all that extra hair was no longer working my me, so I decided to cut my hair and wear it natural. For a while it was one of the hardest things that I had ever done. In the beginning I was really self conscious and hated it but for some reason I couldn’t allow myself to to go back to my old habits. Once got comfortable with it I started receiving compliments all the time about my new hair cut. Though I noticed that I didn’t get approached as much by men as a natural girl I can definitely live with that. Because I am proud of myself for making that change. I am constantly looking in the mirror surprised at myself for no longer being worried about when other people thought I should look like and love what God gave me. I love my natural look and so does my wallet.
In the process I have realized I don’t owe anyone a particular look. I even took my nails off a few weeks ago and though I will probably put them back on I’m not in a rush I still like the way my hands look. In the past I have told people that my individual style is part of me being a artist and expressing my creativity, so not feeling like I am not expected to keep certain looks is such huge relief for me. Though now I realize that it wasn’t really others expectations of how I looked it was my own insecurities. It was me using my hair, nails, and clothes and crutches make make me feel better about myself. I realized that people will comment on what ever I do, some will like it and some will not, however I don’t owe anyone anything when it comes to how I look or express myself as a woman. In the end it all boils down to loving who I wake up and see in the mirror each day.

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Justifying My Bull

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Justifying My Bullshit?

A woman can never have too many clothes, handbags, or shoes.

Please don’t judge
This is not a compulsion or a misuse

It is about the love of it all
The elements of styles

Fashion is fun, the colors, and shapes
How my shape looks in those colors

The sexiness felt in a great pair of shoes and sliding into the perfect pair of jeans
like slipping on a little masterpiece

I’m just appreciating art in personal form
A woman enjoying her right

An artist decorating an easel
A writer scribbling on a page
Is it items of my choosing that need to be justified?

Would you see it differently if it was
palettes instead of handbags
Paint instead of clothes
Pens instead of shoes

If I were collecting books or paintings there would be no need for this justification no judgement
I’d be considered as a connoisseur of the arts

Now that’s the bullshit
Not me
Nor my little habits

Fashion is a unappreciated form a creative self expression
A nonverbal communication

Just to inform you
I’m not a shopaholic
I just have a lot of creative self expressive things to say

So like I said before
A woman can never have enough handbags, clothes, or shoes

Lou Hargrove