Dare to Win: Monday Motivation

In the beginning of the week I am always on Instagram and tumblr looking for inspirations quotes and pictures to get my week started. Even though my work week starts on Saturday their is still a newness to the week that Mondays still bring to me. Maybe it’s because Monday is actually my humpday and the inspiration gets me through the rest of the week, whatever it is on Mondays I always look for a boost. 
So I came across this picture late lastnight and it just seemed to give me an extra boost plus some, because there is such a raw truthfulness in its content it’s amazing. Lately I have been pondering my writing career and for the most part the lack there of, and have been spend a few sleepless nights trying to figure out what my next step was. So of course the artist part of me decided to turn inward to see what have been my problems in the past. One of my major faults were I had spend a lot of time trying to fit in and be accepted by those that I admired professionally and just was afraid to go to far and allow myself to be judged for being to sexy or too racey or just too much. With that I am going to dare to step out of my comfort zone and write about thing both professionally and artisticly that I have been afraid to write about in the past. I am going to dare to be bold and answer some of the questions that people would like to know, or write a sensual lullaby that will poetically caress the readers eyes. And I will do it will love and passion, because at the end of the day those are the things that make work not feel like work anymore.  
What are the things that you are daring to do? Ladies what are some health and sex questions that you would like answered? Please leave a comment or email me at redbutterflypublishing@gmail.com

Lou Hargrove

fashion & style

Justifying My Bull


Justifying My Bullshit?

A woman can never have too many clothes, handbags, or shoes.

Please don’t judge
This is not a compulsion or a misuse

It is about the love of it all
The elements of styles

Fashion is fun, the colors, and shapes
How my shape looks in those colors

The sexiness felt in a great pair of shoes and sliding into the perfect pair of jeans
like slipping on a little masterpiece

I’m just appreciating art in personal form
A woman enjoying her right

An artist decorating an easel
A writer scribbling on a page
Is it items of my choosing that need to be justified?

Would you see it differently if it was
palettes instead of handbags
Paint instead of clothes
Pens instead of shoes

If I were collecting books or paintings there would be no need for this justification no judgement
I’d be considered as a connoisseur of the arts

Now that’s the bullshit
Not me
Nor my little habits

Fashion is a unappreciated form a creative self expression
A nonverbal communication

Just to inform you
I’m not a shopaholic
I just have a lot of creative self expressive things to say

So like I said before
A woman can never have enough handbags, clothes, or shoes

Lou Hargrove

Hair & Beauty


Ok, I am hiting a milestone birthday tomorrow and I am really feeling the need to work on my sexy. I am usually one of those women that is aways looking to an opportunity to tap into my inner sexy, but lately I have been feeling like I have been tapping an empty jar. Between work, obligations, and the freaking out about getting older I mentioned in my other posts (among other things I’ll discuss another day) I have been feeling anything but sexy lately. I feel like I must do something bold and exciting to bring me back to my sensual center.  Sooo I was thinking about getting a brazilian wax for my b’day, my own personal sexy secret gift to myself. I’venever did it before and it is something that I’ve always had on my bucket list. Now I am true believer in proper grooming from head to toe and all those lil’ fuzzy things inbetween, but I always thought of that as a different type of bare. I must admit that I have always thought about waxing as a silky smoothness that couldn’t be accommplished with a razor or even Nair. I did a little research some indirect questioning to see how other women felt about it and most thought I had lost my mind for even bringing it let along considering it and don’tfor get the other portion of women that don’t want to discuss that region of the body (which is a whole other discussion).  Even as I consider myself more of an open minded individual I really am not comfortable lying on a table with my leg in the air and its not a medical professional. Though if I do decide to I will be going to a luxury spa to get it done, because this may just be one of once in a life time events. Hey if all goes well I well I just let my little sexy secret out and do a full review of my experience. No pictures of course.

Happy Humpday,

Lou Hargrove


Monday Motivation: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others


I have noticed over the last few days there have been a flood of self love messages about not comparing yourself to others so I have really been thinking about the how we all really do have indivual journey’s and it is not for us or anyone else to compare mine to someone else’s. The reason why I am jumping on the bandwagon is because as I mentioned in a previous post my birthday is coming up in a few days and I have been freaking out. Everything I have not done over my years of being an adult especially the fact that I am a single woman without children and my career wasn’t moving the way that I would have hoped at this age were hitting the surface of my reality with the same intensity that hurricane Sandy hit the Jersey shore. I thought about how I have had friendships end or become strained because I have had a friend to get married and become super critical of the fact that I still single and still dating and told me I just need to be by myself. Then there was the girlfriend that was still living in her mother’s house with two children that informed me that her mother didn’t think that I was doing enough with my life for us to remain friends, which perplexed me because I do work two jobs, own my own business, and have my own place. I have to admit that there was a pity party for a few days because I felt so alone and accomplished so I took to a few of the inspirational youtubers for assistance and I was surprised that the messages had been the same a “Stop comparing yourself to others”. Which is something that I know, but as humans we can already know things and when someone else is in need we are able to give a wealth of wisdom and knowledge but are usually unable to do it for ourselves (at least I can’t). I thought  about how easy it is to for us to compare our journey to others just like others can compare of our journey to theirs. Sometimes we like those around us feel as though if we are not doing things at the same time or same rate as others that we are doing something wrong. First of all we must be very honest with ourselves and because it is OK not to want the samethings and the people around you. It is ok to take a risque and pursue a career that you love (as long as your bills are still getting paid). The beauty of it is that God created each of us differently and gave up all a seperate journey. Each individual journey takes its own unique path in this world and which path you take is for you to decide. Though I admit I am a little disappointed to my life may not have accomplished everything that I have wanted in the time span I may have wanted I had to realize that I have been able to accomplish beautiful things and have been blessed with opportunities that I never would have imagined. Instead of comparing what we have and what we are doing to others take the time out and evalute your own personal journey with the dreams and goals that you have set for yourself. Being comfortable with who you are will strengthen you confidence in a way that will allow you to travel your journey in a new bold and beautiful way. When I take the time to focus on my own individual dreams and purpose I find that growth and opportunity knocks much faster. I was watching Andrea Lewis this morning on Youtube and made a great point by saying the only person that you should ever compare yourself to is you. Remember that in life you are the only one that can live your life and live your life only. That is the one thing that I have to keep in mind before the next pity party and hopefully it won’t happen.

Lou Hargrove


Loving Your Womanly Self

Continue reading “Loving Your Womanly Self”